An Excellent Mother

 1927-2018

黄凤鸣

WONG FOONG MENG

My mother was a filial daughter & loved her siblings. She's a great wife & survived a fierce mother-in-law, also tolerated some sisters-in-law. Certainly a very good mother, mother-in-law, grandmother & great grandmother. Best describe as 家有一老，如有一宝.

She made her niece to become her god-daughter. For that uncle eloped when she's a baby. And not because I'm the only kid. Her usual kind act.

My dad managed the business & mum managed the home. A very good cook she's. Each time after trying some new dishes in restaurants, next day she could cook the same. Her signature dish was Lotus Seed Duck, 莲子鸭. Many relatives requested her to cook it for them. She can do any Chinese food. Last few years due to weak limbs, she retired from cooking. Only instructed the helper to cook. Of course below standard. Durian was her top love. Anything to do with Durian she loved too eg Cake, Puff, Mooncake, Candy etc. 

After her hubby passed away in 1983, she became a Buddhist. Singapore Buddhist Welfare Services was her favoruite Temple. The late famous Abbot Yen Pei was her Master. At home, she chanted thrice daily. 10 days in each month, she went on Vegetarian diet. Eventually all of us became Buddhist.

Common illness such as High Blood Pressure, Diabetics & Heart problems never bothered her. Due to old age, her legs were weakened. In 2013, she'd a fall & her hip was operated on. With the special assistance by HDB, all necessary aids were done up before her discharge. I must thank a Mr Tan from HDB HQ. Also thank Jason of Marine Parade Town Council who postponed full wet cement work at the whole corridor so that my mum could be wheelchaired in on discharge. Sometime later, former Minister of National Development Dr Khor Boon Wan, & HDB's CEO Mdm Cheong came to visit my mum. They presented her a hamper as well.

About 2 years ago, the old lady had a mild stroke which was fully recovered. She'd her regular check up at the neighborhood clinic. She bought chocolates for the GP Dr Joseph on Xmas. Recommended by Changi GH, Home Nursing Foundation sent their nurses & doctor to visit my mum. Special thanks to nurse Bertina. Also utilities at special price.

Due to wheelchair bound & zero walking, blood flow to the legs were slow. Such caused her to be admitted to CGH to heal a swollen left foot (infection) & a dead toe, a week after Lunar New Year '18. Two days later the swell was gone & she's discharged about a week later. But the dead toe needed daily dressing.  

Her daily routine: breakfast, shower, read chinese newspapers, lunch, afternoon tea, nap, dinner, watch tv, supper then sleep. of course medication as well. 

A few years ago she mentioned that her wake to be done at S'pore Casket (follow her mum), Ritual by Monk & Sea Burial, & hope to Sleep & Go.

On 25/4 her wish of Sleep & Go was fulfilled. Followed by Sea Burial. Whole Event was done in Buddhism Ritual with Monks, & an additional Chanting session by Buddhist Volunteers coordinated by her eldest grand-daughter. Only 1 wish was not fulfilled because S'pore Casket was under going full renovation. 

Allow me to say She's a Great Lady with Excellent Virtues, 三从四德. Not only she brought me up, educated me, made sure I was all right at all times, she taught me to read the Chinese Almanac when I was a teenager. Also she helped to take care of the family dog, a white Boxer for 13 years.

My Mother always praised My Father (Cheong Kum Seong) who loved her very much. They visited many Asian countries & dined in many restaurants. Forgive me, mama, I wasn't a great son but I always tried my best. I'm very very lucky to have You as Mother.

For the Event, many kind wishes were sent through FB, Whatsapp, Email & Sms.  Many came to the Wake including an Indian Muslim neighbour. On behalf of the family doctor, 2 nurses came too. Wreaths & Blankets were received. Very touched by those relatives who came using wheelchair, & walking stick. And some with joint-pain. Special mention of a Mr Hui who came at dawn for his tight timing traveling S'pore & KL. A tuition centre boss came at 3am, trust he just returned from abroad. And CEO of Rigel Technology though oversea, whatsapp a msg & sent a wreath. Susan who happened to be in Batam, donated to a local charity under my mother's name. Stanley who's oversea TT his contribution. A HK uncle contributed through a Sg relative. Thanks also goes to those who've helped in one way or another. Not forgetting all former good maids & current one as well.

Today is her 1st 7th day, 头七. Happen to coincide with Labour Day. My mother need not " work " anymore. An important date. Timing is right. Mum, We Love You.

May Day 2018

Update:

1. Many Moths of different colours were seen during the wake. A few at home too.
2. Most of her belongings & aids were donated to various Charities. 2/5/18.
3. Mother's Day is coming. She's always in our minds & hearts. 3/5/18. Although I no longer can give her a treat or gift, likely I'll donate to charity or offer a prayer. 4/5/18.
4.  Using my dad's middle name 金 (Gold), & my mum's 凤 (Phoenix), formed The Golden Phoenix Offer Scheme for Cheong Geomancy Consultants. Details in The Golden Phoenix page. A good Mother's & Father's Day Gift.
5. The Chinese believes that if the deceased is 80 years old or older, it's known as Happy Funeral. 5/5/18.
6. Dream: a. My Mother was with Ven Dr Dhammajoti, 法光法师。Rev Dhammajoti, a Chinese from KL, Malaysia. Based in Sri Lanka. He traveled to many countries to lecture on Buddhism. I took Refuge through Him at Man Fatt Lam, S'pore. He accepted my request to receive the body of my client, Mr Goh's eldest sis-in-law many years ago. 9/5/18.
b. sometime ago thanked Her for cooking mee for those trips i organised in the 80s.
c. my 4th uncle who passed away 2 years ago appeared on the eve of my mum's 100th day. She helped to take care of him & his family in his younger days.

Aug 2, Her 100th Day: If one can afford it will invite Religious leaders to host such Memorial event & guests were be invited. We did a simple one by inviting a Monk to the home to chant.

In the 100 days, cannot wear bright colour clothes, cannot attend happy or sad event. In the 1st year, cannot celebrate Lunar new year. And the 1st Qing Ming praying must be done earlier than the actual day. 3/8/18.